Dual Career Couples

This handout is designed to help you and your partner as you confront the positive and challenging aspects of being part of a dual-career couple. It does not provide the “right” answer or approach, but gives you a framework for considering your decisions and their impact on your careers and your relationship. It may offer some suggestions to help with communication about your career goals individually and as a couple. It may simply describe many of the feelings and concerns you are experiencing.

As you consider these issues and feelings, it may be appropriate for you to seek additional support, whether from a career counselor, a therapist, or family and friends to the extent that they can be objective. Several campus offices that can be helpful to you as you make these decisions are listed at the end of this sheet.

Before the job search

It can be helpful to have a framework in mind as you begin the process of making important career decisions. It will be important to keep lines of communication open with your partner. Some issues to consider and discuss include:

• Clarify the relationship you are in — to what extent is it a factor as you begin your job search?

• Determine individually and as a couple what areas of your life you most value and what aspects of a job are most important; consider how these might affect a job search (e.g., family time, income, prestige, location).

• How do you and your partner view your respective career plans? Are they of relatively equal importance? Is one career primary, due to income potential, greater career commitment, or any other reason?

• Will you consider dealing with reversed roles? (e.g., gender roles or previously established roles within your relationship)

• Discuss possible models for combining two careers, and the pros and cons of each choice. Examples might be:

  • a commuting relationship (short term? or long term?) or telecommuting
  • “taking turns” at beneficial career moves
  • linking career decisions to the timeline of the primary caretaker of children.
    
• Recognize the ideal vs. the reality. Can both partners really “have it all?” Should you consider offers that are “stepping stones” to the ultimate goal?

During the job search

• Consider if and when to tell potential employers about your partner’s job search needs. Many employers have units or firms to assist with this.

• Account for the realities of a job search (e.g., length of time can extend for months). If you are conducting two job searches simultaneously, one person may receive offers long before the timeline for the other.

• Consider how you will manage external pressures, for example from faculty advisors, parents or children.

• Take responsibility for your own career. Balance this with continually seeking clarification about your partner’s expectations, timelines, and availability of support.

• How will you and your partner define a successful relocation?
  

After the job search

Throughout the process of career decision-making, job searching, and beginning a new job there are stresses, challenges, and a great deal of change. Being prepared for the impact of this change process may assist you in making clear decisions and adjusting to new roles and responsibilities. Use these strategies to anticipate and prepare for some of the effects of the job search process.

• Educate yourself and your partner about change and the experiences that result from it. These may include feelings of grief, loss, anger, and fear.

• Project into the future and consider potential regrets, rewards, concerns and issues.

• Recognize the impact of multiple transitions in individual identity for each partner as well as the impact on your relationship.
  

Resources on campus

• Center for the Education of Women, 330 E. Liberty St. 998-7080. Counselors available by appointment, call 998-7210. Open to women and men in the university or the community at no cost.

• The Career Center, 3200 SAB 764-7460. Career counseling available by appointment at no cost for students; limited appointments available for a fee for UM alumni and non-university affiliates.

• Faculty and Staff Assistance Program, Rm. 2076 Ad Services Building, 1009 Greene Street. Call 936-8660 for appointments. Free assistance with personal, family or work-related problems for active and retired faculty and staff and dependents, including graduate student staff members (e.g., GSIs).

• Counseling and Psychological Services, 3100 Michigan Union. 764-8312. Provides free services to currently enrolled UM students, including individual, group and couples counseling. Bring student ID to office before 4:30 p.m. to schedule a first appointment; call for more information.